Home is where the Heart is
by GClements
Summary: In a world where Nick had a daughter to an ex wife, this fanfic tells the story of Sophia's return to Holby four years after leaving for Michigan with Nick. She is unsure of how to approach Zoe (the only person who was like a mother to her) and break the news of Nick's sudden death. Runs alongside current series but some situations & personalities may be different. Please review
1. Chapter 1

**Set in a world where Nick had a daughter to an ex wife, this fanfic tells the story of Sophia's return to Holby four years after leaving for Michigan with Nick. She is unsure of how to approach Zoe (the only person who was like a mother to her) and break the news of Nick's sudden death. Time frame wise, this story is set to run alongside the current series however some situations and personalities may be altered. Eg; Louise is still a receptionist.**

 **Chapter 1**

It all looked the same from the outside; the pyramid of glass above the ambulance parking bays, the slightly off white and duck egg blue blocks creating an almost perfect chess board, even the staff parking spots were the same.

But everything was different.

Sophia Jordan, now eighteen, stares at the plaque that reads "CLINICAL LEAD – DR. ZOE HANNA" unaware of the "ASSISTANT" that is covered by the roof of the familiar black Audi. As she takes a deep breath and gently closes her eyes, she realises there was no going back. She has to tell her.

She walks into the ED's reception feeling completely at home. She grew up in this place and had seen all sorts which is why the vomit, that had just exploded from a drunken patient and landed on her clean, white converse as he slumped to the floor, didn't phase her at all.

"Okay. Let's get you up," she says with a sigh.

The patient groans as the young porter, Max, helps her lift and lower him into a seat.

"Thanks for that," she says, "not sure I could've lifted him on my own." Her face breaks into a smile as she shakes Max's hand.

"You, er, you looked like you knew what you were doing. But I'm not sure sick covered shoes are in this season," Max jokes.

Sophia looks down at her feet and lets out a little giggle, "Oh I don't know? I thought I was rocking the look." She stands in a sarcastic pose for a few seconds before bending to pick up her handbag that had dropped from her shoulder in the process.

Paramedics Iain and Dixie break through the doors with a new patient and head for Resus. "I'd better go help them," says Max following them down the corridor, "It was nice meeting you by the way." His cheeky smile makes Sophia forget, for a second, why she's really here.

"Yeah," she replies as he turns the corner and disappears, "it was nice….meeting you too." She takes another sigh, rolls her eyes at the state and smell of her shoes as she crosses to the reception desk.

"Can I help you?" Louise's monotonous voice sounds as she looks Sophia up and down twice.

"Erm, yeah actually. I'm looking for Dr. Zoe Hanna?"

"Sophia Jordan!" exclaims a familiar excitable voice.

She turns to see the one and only Charlie Fairhead walking from his office towards her with his arms open. His eyes glaze over with happiness and, as he releases Sophia from his tightening embrace, asks "What on Earth are you doing here? I thought you were still in Michigan."

Sophia looks up at him, her eyes just as glazed but as tear falls and rolls down her cheek to land softly on her lips, it's clear that she is not as happy or excited as she should be to be back in Holby.

Louise makes her way around the reception desk, swaying her hips as she heads towards Charlie and Sophia. She taps her nails against the clipboard she seems to carry everywhere and clears her throat, startling Sophia who quickly brushes the tear off her face.

"Dr. Hanna's in a meeting. You'll have to make an appointment to see her another time," she drones.

Charlie immediately takes over as he sees the infamous "Jordan glare" burning through Sophia's eyes.

"I tell you what," he starts, "why don't you come into my office with me and we can have a chat. Then, when Zoe's finished with her meeting, we can talk to her together. Yeah?"

Sophia turns back to him, "Yeah," she repeats nodding delicately. As they head to the office Charlie shares with Tess, the senior staff nurse at the time, Sophia looks back over her right shoulder and follows Louise like a hawk.

"I see she's as cheery as ever." She sarcastically remarks.

"Haha. Some things never change," chuckles Charlie as he opens the door allowing Sophia to enter first.

Looking around the room, Sophia notices pictures of Tess' son and grandson on her desk while Charlie's desk is bare - except for a few files and drawings from the children admitted as patients. Charlie always did have a knack for brightening up someone's day and give them the help and advice they need, even when they didn't realise they needed it but Sophia knew she needed it now more than ever as the fear of talking to Zoe rattles in her head.

Charlie places a mug of coffee on the desk in front of her. The clink of the ceramic against the wood of the desk breaks Sophia's stare and she tries her best to force a smile as Charlie takes the seat opposite her.

"Sophia. What's going on? Are you really going to make me drag it out of you?"

"Charlie, please. I can't. Not until I've spoken to Zoe – she has to be the first to know."

"Okay. Well I'll just sit here and wait with you until she's ready." He looks at her with deep concern. The bubbly, energetic little girl he once knew seemed like a distant memory. She seems more and more like Zoe each day – never showing emotion or sentiment until it gets to breaking point. This was Sophia's breaking point.

As she continues to stare out of the window, Charlie notices her eyes spilling over again. She sniffles a little as she takes a sip of her coffee. Charlie moves closer to her and gently wraps an arm around her shoulder as her head falls onto his. She completely breaks down. For a few seconds Charlie allows her to release – it was something she clearly hadn't done for a while.

"Zoe's just headed back to her office," he states, "are you ready?"

"Mhm." She nods letting out a huge sigh as she wipes the tears from her eyes.

They both stand up and head for the door. He takes another look at her to be sure and she simply sighs with relief, smiles and nods as she prepares to walk through reception to an office she hasn't seen for four years.

In this office will be a woman who meant everything to Sophia. Ever since she was a little girl, she has always wanted to be exactly like Zoe. It tore her apart when she left but she couldn't live without her father, Nick, the person Zoe truly loved and felt loved by. In this office Sophia will have to tell her something no child should ever have to say.

She will have to tell her that Nick died two weeks ago. But how?

Charlie knocks twice on Dr. Hanna's door.

"Come in, Charlie." Zoe's voice echoed through Sophia's mind.

Charlie holds the door open for Sophia to enter first.


	2. Chapter 2

**Home is Where the Heart is – Chapter 2**

As Sophia enters, Zoe is stood with her back turned and begins rummaging through the pieces of paper she has yet to file. She is wearing one of her trade mark dresses that ever so gently hugs her figure and her shiny black heels. Her desk is covered with files upon files and one pile has a cup of coffee sat balancing on the top; Sophia remembers how unorganised Zoe is as she smiles and shakes her head towards Charlie who simply shrugs and says, "Uh, Zoe?"

"Yeah, Charlie. I know. I'm trying to find your paper and I promise you it's here, I just –"

"Zoe." He interrupts, "there's someone here to see you." He winks at Sophia who straightens herself up and takes a deep breath.

Zoe turns around with a patient slip between her teeth and stares at Sophia for a few seconds. The realisation sets in and she throws everything down onto yet another pile. Her eyes widen slightly in disbelief as her purple coloured lips break into a grin.

"Sophie?" She starts as she walks over to Sophia and holds her in a tight hug, "How are you? What are you doing here? Where's your dad? He hasn't left you on your own has he? I'll have to have a few words with him."

Overwhelmed with all of her questions, Sophia simply giggles and looks at Charlie who gives an encouraging nod, wink and then says, "I think I'll leave you two alone to, uhm, catch up."

"Thanks Charlie," Sophia replies, "for everything."

He slowly shuts the door and heads back to his office while Zoe makes her way back around her desk to sit in the chair opposite Sophia.

"You can sit down you know." Laughs Zoe as she points to the chair facing her.

Sophia reluctantly walks forward and carefully lowers herself into the chair wrapping her hands up in the sleeves of her hoodie as if she was nervous about being with Zoe. As she sits on her hands she can't help but stare at the woman that sat before her. She hadn't changed, much. Although Sophia does notice a happier look in her eyes to the look she remembers. She also notices the silver band that is wrapped around Zoe's finger.

"You're married."

Zoe looks down and fiddles with the ring before suddenly taking it off and hiding it in her top desk drawer as she replies, "Oh. No, no. Not anymore." A worried look sprawls across her face but Zoe soon shakes it off, desperate to change the conversation.

"How long has it been – four years? Wow. You really have grown up haven't you?" Zoe asks as she can't quite believe that the little girl who had such a big personality is now sitting in front of her, eighteen years old and almost terrified.

"Zoe, there's something I have to tell you," Sophia begins. She is finally ready to tell her.

"Ooo, that sound serious," Zoe jokes in return. Her smile is yet to break however this may be the moment it does.

"Zoe." Repeats Sophia in a blunt but quiet voice as her head lifts slightly from her gaze at the floor, her eyes fully lifting to meet Zoe's.

Just as Zoe's bright smile drops and her body stiffens a young doctor with glasses barges in desperately, "Dr Hanna, major RTC involving a minimum of five incoming. We're going to need your help in Resus."

"Okay Ethan, ETA?"

"2 minutes." He realises he has interrupted quite a serious conversation as he adds, "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. We just uhm. Yeah, we really need you." Zoe looks down towards her clasped hands, lifting them to meet her forehead and rests there for a few seconds while taking a deep breath.

"Okay, no I'm coming," Zoe replies as she looks at Sophia and releases a huge sigh, "Soph, do you mind?"

Sophia simply looks around at Zoe, who has headed to the door to meet Ethan and just placed her stethoscope around her neck, before clearing her throat and saying "No. Of course not, go. Your public need you." She attempts a joke.

Zoe looks back at her in a sympathetically as her forehead creases and her lips purse, "I'm really sorry, we can catch up in the pub later yeah? I get off at five; meet me here and we can walk over together?"

"Mhm. Yeah sure." Sophia nods trying her best to force a smile as Zoe rushes out with Ethan and disappears around the corner.

It's a little while later and Sophia is busy scrubbing the sick from her shoes as a familiar cheeky voice says, "You know this place is full of cleaning stuff right? Water won't do it by itself."

Sophia puts the shoe on the table and throws the dampened rag into the sink as she laughs and says, "Yeah, this place has changed a bit since I was last here. I don't know where the cleaning cupboards are anymore."

"Okay, for one thing," Max begins while lifting the converse with his thumb and index finger and pulling a disgusted face, "it's bad luck for shoes to be on the table." He drops the shoe onto the floor and goes into the cupboards under the sink. Sophia's eyes follow him and she smiles slightly as he pulls out some bleach and places it in front of her.

"Secondly, I don't know how long it's been since you were last here but now, we tend to keep cleaning supplies under here." He giggles and points towards the open cupboard as Sophia laughs and rolls her eyes sarcastically.

"By the way, how long _has_ it been since you were last here?"

"Four years. Just over. Why?" replies Sophia casually still scrubbing at her shoes.

"Nothing. It's just, well, you seem to know your way around here pretty well and you seem pretty close with Charlie – this place obviously means a lot to you."

She shrugs her shoulders with a little silent chuckle, "Yeah, it does. I mean I grew up here so…it's like a second home. Not even a second home; it is my home full stop. And, as for Charlie, he's always been –"

"Like a dad?" Max interrupts.

"No. Not a dad. More like a grandad or an uncle."

"I see." Max nods intently.

"Okay, okay," Sophia laughs, "so what about you? What's your story?"

"Ah you know, the old tragedy of the life of being a porter. Pushing people here there and everywhere, moaning about never having enough money to pay the rent. Same old, same old really."

They both laugh as Sophia notices the clock. It's almost five o'clock and in an apologetic way she says "I'm really sorry to cut our conversation short again but I have to go." As she rushes to tie her shoes back up, Max grabs her hand.

"Where are you going, maybe I can walk you?"

"I'm really sorry but I have to go. I'm meeting Zo- erm, Dr Hanna. There's something I need to tell her."

She leaves Max in the staff room alone as she runs towards reception and he is now stuck thinking, wondering what on earth she has to do with Zoe.

Zoe stands waiting in reception and takes a look at her watch just as Sophia appears around the corner.

"I am so sorry Zoe, I forgot how long it takes to get sick out of shoes," she jokes.

"Haha, I see. Ready?"

"As I'll ever be." Sophia takes yet another deep breath and follows behind after looking at Charlie for one last bit of encouragement; the wink he gives her as they cross his path and walk out of the doors is all she needs. Neither of them notice Max standing next to him with his arms crossed and Charlie's arm patting him on the shoulder before walking away.

Sat at the table of the hospital's local pub, Sophia sits anxiously as Zoe brings over a bottle of red wine and two glasses placing one in front of her.

"Charlie was right," she laughs, "some things never change."

Zoe laughs and rolls her eyes in the same way as Sophia does and, as she pours the wine into the glasses before stopping halfway and taking a sip herself, asks "So. What's so important that you had to fly all the way over from Michigan to tell me in person?"

"Zoe. Dad's tumour came back." Sophia couldn't think of a better way to tell her.

"What?"

"He, uhm, we tried to get into contact with you to tell you. They said you were on a break."

"Yeah?"

"He deteriorated very quickly and…"

Zoe stops drinking at this point, puts the glass back on the table and leans back into her chair as if she already knows what's coming next.

"No." The tears start to fall from her eyes. "NO!" she repeats firmer, her hands cup her mouth as if she is about to be sick.

"Zoe, he passed away two weeks ago," she chokes on her words and reaches into her bag to pull out a clean white envelope with Zoe's name on it, "he wanted me to give you this."

As she pushes the envelope towards her, Zoe shakes her head in complete disbelief and runs out of the pub and back towards the hospital as tears stream down her face.

"Zoe!" Sophia calls after her, "Zoe, please can we just talk about this?"

Zoe completely ignores her and continues running through the parking bays and into the ED.

Thoughts race through Sophia's head: should she go after her? Should she leave her be? She settles on a decision and takes a deep breath before walking towards the hospital herself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Home is Where the Heart is – Chapter Three.**

 **This chapter focuses more on Zoe and how she deals with the news of Nick's death. The beginning of this chapter happens while Sophia is walking from the pub to Zoe's office.**

As she walks through the ED's reception trying to hold back the tears that threaten to fall from her filling eyes, Zoe is completely oblivious to everyone around her; it's as if the tears have blurred the ever buzzing world of the ED and she can only see the sanctuary of her office.

She enters the office, closes the door with her back and rests there for a few seconds clutching the envelope tight to her chest as she lets the tears fall where they may. After sitting in her chair, she takes a tissue from the box she keeps in her drawer, dries her face and sniffs herself back together before beginning to open the sealed letter from Nick.

Still in a world of her own, Zoe is unaware of Charlie who walks past and notices her gently blotting her eyes in an attempt to conceal the trails of mascara that now dress her cheeks. As she reads the last words of the letter: " _All my love, always. Nick x_ " Charlie gently closes the office door and makes his way over to her.

She looks up and simply says, "He's gone, Charlie."

Charlie takes a deep sigh and holds Zoe tight to him as her body shakes from silently crying and tears drench Charlie's dark blue scrubs.

"I promised her," her voice breaks into a whisper, "I promised her I would always be there whenever she needed me. And I wasn't. I let her down, Charlie. I let Nick down."

"Hey now," replies Charlie as he lifts Zoe's head from his chest and hands her another tissue, "You can still be there for her. Now is the time she needs you most, not then. Now."

Zoe looks up at him and shakes her head as Sophia silently stands in the, now open, doorway listening. Just listening.

"Where do I even start Charlie?" asks Zoe desperately. "I mean, I've never had to do this before. What if I'm no good for her?"

"Zoe, she needs you more than anyone. You two have always been as thick as thieves – there for each other, open with one another. You were like a mother to that girl and I highly doubt that's changed."

"And she's the closest thing I have to a daughter, Charlie. The closest thing I ever will have. I don't want to lose that too."

"And you won't." Charlie reassures her. Charlie nods towards the doorway as he has now noticed Sophia standing there. Zoe looks up and sharply turns her head around.

"Do what feels right," he whispers in Zoe's ear on his way out, "you know her better than anyone. You can still keep your promise."

Charlie crosses Sophia, taps her on the arm and gives another of his encouraging nods. "I'll leave you two to talk."

"Soph…" that is all Zoe can say before Sophia runs to her, wraps her arms around Zoe's waist and starts to cry onto her shoulder. Zoe, in shock, still has her arms outstretched before looking down at the little girl she had loved as if she were her own and slowly wrapped her own arms around Sophia too, holding her while she tries catching her breath.

"Hey," says Zoe in a soft, comforting tone, "okay, listen to me Soph, take a few deep breaths. You're okay."

Sophia tries her best to slow her breathing down and control it as Zoe sits her down on the sofa against the wall without letting her embrace loosen.

"You're okay." She repeats even softer as Sophia finally seems to relax a little.

"What do I do Zoe?" asks Sophia as her tears continue to fall.

"Not here," replies Zoe, "head at work, heart at home." Sophia looks up at her. She knows what Zoe means as both Nick and Zoe had said it countless times before but this time was different.

"But," Sophia starts, "this is my home, Zoe. I have nowhere else. This was _our_ home. How do I –" the tears reappear and this time, Zoe interrupts by pulling Sophia back in close and rests her chin on her head while looking up towards the ceiling in order to, once more, fight the tears from her own eyes.

"You have me," she whispers, "and I am not leaving you. I promise."

The two sit in Zoe's office all night and eventually fall asleep holding each other as if neither of them had anything else to live for apart from each other.

As Charlie finishes his late shift, he walks into Zoe's office once more, pulls a blanket from under his arm and wraps it around the both of them before turning off the light and gently closes the door. Zoe awakens after hearing the click of the hinge and sees Charlie walking away; she looks down towards Sophia's head which rests softly on her shoulder, smiles and then falls back to sleep herself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 – The next day.**

 **(Medical stuff may be inaccurate)**

As Sophia starts to stir, her eyes flutter open and Max makes his way in with a takeaway cup of coffee. The bustling noise of the ED fully awakens Sophia who looks at the empty space beside her, smiles and then looks up to Max.

"Where is she?" Sophia asks stretching her arms out to the side.

"She's on shift," Max replies, "but she asked me to give you this." He hands Sophia the coffee and softly sits on the edge of Zoe's desk.

"Thanks." She smiles taking the cup and sitting up properly. As she takes the plastic lid off the cup and blows away some of the steam, a confused look paints her face as she looks back to Max and says "I've just realised, I don't even know your name."

"Max," he laughs with his hand outstretched.

"Sophia." Her hand meets his and, after a quick shake, she takes a sip of her coffee, "Ugh," she splutters, " _this_ is meant to be coffee?"

Max laughs and nods his head towards the window where Zoe takes a sip from her own cup at the desk opposite, "Dr Hanna likes it."

"Well, Dr Hanna won't mind if I leave this here for her then," replies Sophia as she places the cup onto her desk and giggles.

They see Zoe make her way through to Resus and, after folding up the blanket Charlie wrapped over them, Sophia looks at the clock and grabs her bag. Max follows her through to reception where she asks "Could you give her a message for me?"

"Course."

"Just tell her I've gone to do something for Dad but that I'll be back before she finishes?"

"Not a problem," Max smiles as he leans onto the front desk next to Charlie; they both watch Sophia leave the ED with smiles on their faces.

"Charlie?" asks Max, "What's the deal with Zoe and uhm," he nods in the direction of the front door as her name escapes him.

"Sophia?" Charlie reminds him, "You'll have to ask Zoe about that one but put it this way, they'd be lost without each other."

He slides his paper work from the desk and smiles at Max before heading to his office and leaving Max deep in thought. The familiar click of Zoe's heels break Max's stare and, as she passes him, he calls "Dr Hanna!"

"What is it Max? I'm already late for a two hour meeting," replies Zoe desperately trying to make her way up the stairs to the boardroom.

"That girl. Su…S…So…"

"Sophia." She bluntly reminds him.

"Yeah, she said she had to go and do something for her Dad?"

"Okay?" Zoe asks in a confused tone.

"She said she'll be back before you finish."

"Okay. Thanks for telling me but I really have to go". She pulls her hand out from underneath Max's; neither of them had noticed the fact that he had held it tightly against the banister of the stairs while trying to keep Zoe from rushing off.

As she turns and walks away, Max can't help but stare at the woman that was once his wife and his eyes follow her all the way up as if he still felt protective over her.

"Max!" Ethan suddenly yells as Iain and Dixie break through the door with another patient.

"Okay," Iain starts, "This is Sophia Jordan, eighteen years old, victim of hit and run. She has a nasty bump to the back of her head, blunt abdo trauma and restricted air entry. GCS was 7 on arrival but improved to 13 in the ambo. She's had 1 litre of saline and 10 of morphine."

As they reach Resus and place Sophia in one of the empty bays, Ethan begins by saying "Isn't this the girl Dr Hanna was speaking to yesterday? Someone go and get her please."

Max who had followed them through, races out of Resus, through reception and up the stairs before smashing through the door of the boardroom.

"Max!" Zoe shouts standing up sharply out of her chair, "What the HELL do you think you're doing?"

"Zoe. It's Sophia. Ethan's treating her in Resus."

She stares at Max for a few seconds before dropping everything from her hands and racing out of the room with him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter five**

 **(Again, medical stuff may be inaccurate) The next two chapters will be titled as follows: 'Nick's letter for Zoe' and 'Nick's letter for Sophia' so that you can see exactly what was included in the letters and what Nick had told both Zoe and Sophia to do following his death. Enjoy :D**

Making their way down the stairs, back through reception and into Resus, Zoe's mind races as she prepares for the worst; her eyes focus on the crowd of doctors that surround Sophia's bed.

"Ethan." She desperately tries to catch her breath and forces her way out of Max's hand that has been gripping to hers the entire time.

"Dr Hanna," replies Ethan, "her SATS have improved to 97% however her head injury is the main concern and she has a possible tension pneumothorax on the right. The fast scanner shows that there's no abdo bleed – just bruising." He smiles slightly in an attempt to comfort Zoe because they both know her condition could have been far worse.

"Right," Zoe starts as she takes a shaky breath, clears her throat and takes Ethan's stethoscope from around his neck to listen to Sophia's chest herself "yeah, reduced air entry to the right. We're going to have to do a needle decompression here guys to relieve the pressure – Ethan could you?"

"Yes of course." He gently nods, reassuring Zoe as she turns to look at Sophia and delicately places a hand onto her forehead.

"Resps are increasing." Smiles Rita as Ethan fully relieves the trapped air and Sophia starts coming round a little.

"Zoe." She breathlessly whispers with a smile. Zoe manages to smile back at her as a single tear rolls down the side of her cheek.

"I'm here, Soph. I promised you didn't I?"

"Zoe…in my…my bag…"

"Uhm, CT's ready for her now," the curly headed nurse, Lofty, states.

As Sophia is wheeled down the hall to CT, Zoe refuses to loosen her grip on her hand until they reach the doors and she kisses the back of Sophia's palm and whispers, "I'll be right here when you get out."

"I want my Dad." Sophia cries as she disappears from Zoe's sight leaving her in shock outside the doors to CT.

"Do you want me to call him?" he pauses for a few seconds before quietly asking, "Zoe?"

"Hmm?" Zoe asks numbly.

"Her Dad. Should I call him?" he softly repeats.

"He died, Max." Zoe turns around and walks back to her office where Charlie stands holding Sophia's handbag. He hands it to her and, after a gentle pat on the shoulder, leaves the room.

Unsure of what Sophia wanted her to get, Zoe rummages through the bag to find a similar white envelope to the one she received with the words _'My Angel'_ written on the front in Nick's hand-writing. The envelope had already been carefully opened as if Sophia were trying to preserve it and, as Zoe places it on the table, three small photographs and one bigger one fall to the floor. She picks them all up and turns one over before bursting into tears; it was the photo they had taken, a few years before Nick and Sophia left, when they were on a trip to the beach. She couldn't help but notice how happy they all looked and how so much had changed.

Max, who had been observing her through the window in the door, holds her as she tries once more to hold back her tears.

"You don't have to pretend in front of me Zoe," his comforting voice allows Zoe to feel completely safe and, as he tightens his embrace, adds, "She'll be okay you know."

"Nobody knows that Max. The CT could show anything. She's not out of the woods yet and I can't lose her too."

"Is this her Dad?" He asks pointing to the picture she still has clasped in her hand.

"Mmhmm." She nods with a smile.

"You look so happy. Beautiful."

"I was. And since then, I've only ever been truly happy like that, once." She looks up into his eyes for the first time since their wedding day and slowly starts to lean into him.

The office door slams open startling both of them and causes them to pull sharply away from one another as Charlie says, "She's out of CT and in Cubicle three. Her scan is clear Zoe." He smiles before leaving the room.

Zoe releases a deep breath and closes her eyes as she rests her head on Max's chest. With both hands, he tucks her hair behind her ears, lifts her face from him to look into her eyes once more and says, "See. I told you she'd be fine."

Zoe nods in Max's hands before he pulls her face closer to his and gently kisses her forehead.

"You know Max," she starts, "all of this with Sophia and everything Nick wrote in his letter… it's made me realise something."

"What's that then?" he asks as his cheeky smile returns once more.

"I really love you. No matter what has happened or what will happen, I have always and will always love you." Zoe stands up from the desk and walks towards her office door headed for cubicles.

"Zoe," Max jumps in as she stops in the doorway, "I love you too."

As she shuts the door of her office, Max's eyes follow her all the way through to cubicles and he smiles with the realisation that he can't be without Zoe in the same way that she can't be without Sophia.


	6. Nick's letter to Sophia

**Here it is! For Nick's letters to Sophia and Zoe, I tried to create a different, more emotional side to Nick because, in the past, he seemed more emotional when he was scared and/or with Zoe so I tried to re-create that with Sophia. The emotion comes out more in these letters because I don't think Nick would ever have said this in person.**

 _My Darling Sophia,_

 _This letter will come as no shock to you but there are a few things you need to know. Things I haven't the courage to tell you in person._

 _From the moment I laid eyes on you swaddled in pink blankets, I was so proud to be your father and as you've grown into a strong, caring, beautiful young woman, I can honestly say that that pride has never left – in fact it's grown more and more each day. From your first smile, the first time you called me "Daddy" and the first time I fixed the cut on your knee after you fell off your bike, to this very moment where you are sleeping in the chair next to my hospital bed, I have never been prouder of anything else in my life._

 _I thought I needed more. I thought I needed to be loved, to be married or at least have a partner to feel fully complete however, it may have taken a while, but I know now that you were and are all I've ever needed to feel complete. I also realise now that there has only been one person whom I have truly loved and I think you know who that is – Zoe. She's always been there for the both of us and I know she will be there for you now._

 _Please do not be upset darling for I have truly had a wonderful life and you are the reason for that. You have been the only person that has kept me going all these years and continues to keep me going through this, although I fear that this illness will not go away like last time as much as I know you want it to. It's time for you to keep someone else going._

 _I need you to go to Holby. Tell Zoe everything that has happened and be there for her if she needs you as I am sure she will be there for you. I also need you both to do one thing for me; when I am gone, I need you to release me. Not here in Michigan but in Holby, our home. Zoe will know when and where to do it, all I ask of you is to pick up a picture from the photo shop the day after you arrive. It'll be ready at 10am – make this the photo for my memorial and I want you and Zoe to keep the smaller ones I have ordered. Your flights and hotel is already booked and paid for so you don't have to worry about a thing. Everything will fall into place I'm sure._

 _Don't be frightened sweetheart, it's time for you to go out there and make something of your life rather than caring for your sick old man. I am truly grateful to have been a part of your life and I want to thank you for making me the luckiest man on the planet._

 _Life goes on my angel._

 _Thank you for looking into my eyes on the day you were born and giving me a reason to live._

 _I love you. Always,_

 _Daddy x_

 _PS; you'll be great without me_

 **Thank you all for the lovely comments; I am so happy you are enjoying this story. Zoe's letter will arrive soon! Happy New Year and all the best for 2016,**

 **Georgia x**


	7. Nick's letter to Zoe

**Nick's letter to Zoe**

 _Dear Zoe,_

 _If you're reading this then you already know what has happened so I'll spare you the details; Sophia can tell you anything you want to know. Oh Zoe, she really has turned out to be an amazing young lady and, while I'd like to take the credit, I know that most of who she is has come from you. You'll soon see how similar you are – the same sarcasm, humour, the same disapproving looks but most of all, she has your strength, beauty and determination. For all of that I thank you._

 _We've been through a lot over the years haven't we? Whether it be as lovers, friends or even enemies, I would never be the man…the father that I am today. You taught me that there is more to life than this job. You taught me that I don't have to be the best at everything I do and most of all, you taught me how to love and how to let love in and deal with it when it's gone. I had thought that it was Yvonne that changed me but it was you Zoe. Through everything, it was always you._

 _I will never forget that night of the fire and how truly terrified I was that I would never see you again; that I'd have to explain to Sophia why she would never be able to see you again. You mean everything to her and I know she means a lot to you._

 _That's why I have decided to send Sophia back to Holby. She belongs there not here in Michigan away from everything and everyone she's ever known. I just ask that you be there for her Zoe – you've always been better at that sort of thing than I ever have been. She will probably be stubborn about it but, like I said, she's like you so she will need someone._

 _Finally I need you to do something. I need you to organise my release. Sophia has everything you will need but you know where I want to be; by the sea Zoe. I want you to take Sophia to our little spot on the beach and release me into the sunlight and clean, crisp sea air. That was one of the happiest days of my life and I wish we had the chance to go there again - together._

 _Thank you for everything Zoe – you will never know how much you mean to me and how much I have loved you after all this time. I want you to find someone Zoe. Someone serious not just your little flings because you deserve so much more than just that. You taught me that there is a life around the job and, Zoe, it's incredible so go out there and find it for yourself – I think you'll be surprised at the beauty that surrounds you._

 _Don't be afraid of love Zoe or life for that matter – trust me, it's way too short._

 _Look after my little girl Zoe._

 _All my love always,_

 _Nick x_


	8. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 – continued from when Zoe left Max in her office**

Exhausted from a long and unexpected day at the ED, Zoe walks up towards the concertinaed blue curtains relieved with the knowledge that Sophia's scans and bloodwork came back clear and gently pulls them back; Sophia looks up from her arm that is being bandaged by staff nurse Miller and smiles.

"Robyn, could you give us a minute?" Zoe asks nodding slightly in the direction of the desk.

"Yeah, sure. I'm finished here anyway," she smiles first at Zoe and then towards Sophia, "I'll be back later to check how that arm is."

As Robyn collects her excess bandages and leaves the cubicle, Zoe makes her way over to the bed and sits on the edge by Sophia's side.

"How're you feeling?"

"Like I've just been hit by a car," Sophia croaks as a smile begins to break across her scratched face.

"Not funny." Replies Zoe bluntly rolling her eyes as she attempts to hold in her own laughter.

"Sorry."

Sophia looks back down towards her hands and starts to twiddle with her fingers while Zoe inches herself closer.

"Come on," she says with a smile, "budge up."

Sophia takes a silent laugh, rolls her eyes and starts to shuffle across the bed allowing Zoe to lay next to her as she opens her hand and reveals on of the three photographs. Sophia notices the photo and rests her head on Zoe's shoulder as they both stare at Nick's face.

"You found it then?" Sophia asks.

"Yeah. Now my letter makes more sense."

"Yeah," Sophia agrees, "mine too."

"Do you remember this day?" Zoe smiles.

"How could I forget?" Sophia closes her eyes as if that would transport her back to that day. The day that they all held so close to their hearts. She smiles softly as she rearranges her head on Zoe's shoulder trying to snuggle deeper and Zoe lets her. She places one of her hands on the side of Sophia's head holding Sophia against her and rests her chin on the top of her head, remembering how she held Nick the same way after Yvonne had died.

"That was the day a seagull came swooping down, swiped Dad's ice cream out of his hands and took off with it." Sophia begins to laugh however the pain from the abdominal trauma stops her sharply and she clutches her side.

Zoe laughs, "Yeah, that's right and then we both –"

"Smushed our ice creams on his face" they say together and break into a laugh.

"I really do miss him Zoe," Sophia pulls her head away and looks up towards Zoe.

"I know you do," Zoe starts, "I miss him too." She brings Sophia back into her embrace before sitting upright.

"What?" Sophia asks – she knows Zoe's just had either a strange or brilliant idea.

"I tell you what, I'll take a few days off and we can have a proper memorial for him. On the beach. Then, you can come and stay with me. What do you think?" Zoe looks back down towards Sophia.

"Zoe that sounds lovely but this place needs you and I'm fine in the hotel. Really I am."

"Ah no! Connie's back tomorrow anyway so I won't be Acting Clinical Lead anymore and I could do with a bit of a break myself – it's been a tough few months. As for the hotel, you are not staying there! Besides you've had a serious injury and I'm the only one who can take care of you properly." She smirks.

"I didn't realise you weren't Clinical Lead anymore but only if you're sure."

"Please?" Zoe begs.

"Fine," says Sophia, "but only if you promise to tell me what happened between you and Max."

Zoe, startled at the fact Sophia knows about the two of them, looks down towards her- confused and concerned.

"Don't look at me like that," Sophia jokes defensively, "it's so obvious!"

"How?" asks Zoe in a rather high pitched tone.

"The way you look at each other. It's the same look you and Dad used to give one another. And Charlie may have mentioned something earlier on in CT." she laughs and gives a little wink to Zoe.

"I'm going to kill that Charlie Fairhead one of these days." Zoe lets out a burst of laughter as the two begin chatting like they used to.

It was as if nothing had changed.

For the longest time, both Sophia and Zoe had always considered Holby ED as their home, where their heart was but, like Nick, they have now discovered that it doesn't matter where they call home; as long as they have each other, they have found their true heart in one another as well as in other people and _that_ is now and will forever be their home.

 **Nick's memorial will be written as a different story – kind of like a one shot scene. I hope you have all enjoyed Home is Where the Heart is as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Thank you for all of your lovely reviews and who knows, maybe Zoe, Sophia and Max can start their new lives together.**

 **Georgia x**


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